Laugh of the day

[Eaglezsoar]

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD!, WELL... YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE.



MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.

SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 50+ YEARS AGO.

COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN? UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.

THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE. AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL.

"YES. YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG," HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.

"WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?" I ASKED.

HE ANSWERED, "IN 1957. WHY DO YOU ASK?"

"YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!" I EXCLAIMED.

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.

THEN, THAT UGLY,

OLD,

BALD,

WRINKLED,

FAT ASS

GRAY-HAIRED,

DECREPIT

SON-OF-A-BITCH ASKED ME,

"WHAT DID YOU TEACH?"

[geneb]

Ha!

g.

[Renha]

very laughable

[teri1337]

ROFL!

[bot]

[barry99705]

An old hillbilly gets arrested for shooting a great horned owl.
At the trial the judge ask him why he shot a protected bird.
Well your honor, we're a poor family and don't have any money to buy food. I went hunting for deer but didn't see anything, but this bird. Didn't know it wasn't legal to shoot it.
The judge feels sorry for the guy, so he lets him off with a warning, and tells him no more shooting owls.
The hillbilly is almost out of the court room and the judge is overcome with curiosity. He stops the man and asks, "Excuse me sir, before you leave, I've got to know. What's owl taste like?"
The hillbilly turns around and looks to the ceiling thinking hard about the question. "Well, your honor. It tastes kinda like bald eagle."

[geneb]

Like many towns in New England, my home town had a village idiot, who
was barely able to take care of himself. But he had pride, so rather than
just giving him money to live on, the mayor gave him a job.
Every day, Footsie was supposed to polish the four brass cannon
at the corners of the green. In return, he would get enough money for
his apartment, some tv dinners, some wine, and a new hat once in a while.
He did a very good job for about fifteen years. He was proud of his
work, and people always had a good word for him as they passed.
Then one day, he came into the mayor's office and said "I quit!"
Stunned, the mayor asked him why he wanted to leave a job that he
was doing so well with, to which Footsie replied, "I've been saving my
money, and I've bought a cannon. Now I'm going into business for myself."


[Originally posted in net.jokes on 09Jan85]



g.

[Eaglezsoar]

During my physical examination, my doctor asked me about my physical activity level.


I described a typical day this way:
"Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour walk,
About 7 miles, through some pretty rough terrain.
I waded along the edge of a lake.
I pushed my way through brambles.
I got sand in my shoes and my eyes
I avoided standing on a snake.
I climbed several rocky hills.
I took a few 'leaks' behind some big trees.
The mental stress of it all left me shattered.
At the end of it all I drank eight beers".

Inspired by the story, the doctor said,
"You must be one hell of an outdoorsman!"

"No," I replied, "just a shitty golfer".

[jdurand]

[img]http://www.savagechickens.com/wp-conten ... rinter.jpg[/img]

[Eaglezsoar]

Very good!

[JFettig]

[img]http://www.savagechickens.com/wp-conten ... rinter.jpg[/img]

sums up 90% of consumer 3d printing

[jdurand]

Then there's the 10% of us producing all sorts of useful stuff. Sent off a prototype of a part to a customer today. It's a part to replace a poorly designed/made part that his business uses. So far my quickly designed prototypes seem as good as the commercial injection molded part. Now to tweak it in.

He's the guy who paid me to get the E3D head, now to have it show up (and some free time to install it).

BTW, that Jet food grade PLA looks pretty nice, just have to dial out the stringiness and I've got a winner. Even if they fibbed about how much is on a spool it's still a good price.

[jdurand]

[img]http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/3d_printer.png[/img]

[img]http://comicjk.com/Pics/Comic628.gif[/img]

[img]http://cubeheroblog.files.wordpress.com ... ed1000.jpg[/img]

[img]http://cdn.themetapicture.com/media/fun ... rinter.jpg[/img]

[img]http://funny-pictures-quotes.com/wp-con ... -82838.jpg[/img]

Ok enough. Got to go do some more programming and see if I can get this board to talk to the iPad. Grumble...poorly documented, badly written sample software...grumble...parts not working like the data sheet says...grumble...the previous board wasn't this much work...grumble...

In other words, a normal day.

[Eaglezsoar]

Thanks for the laughs!

[Eaglezsoar]

A guy goes into the post office to apply for a job . . .
The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"
He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee."
"Ok, Have you ever been in the military service?"
"Yes," he says, "I was in Afghanistan for one tour."
The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment."
Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"
The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles."
The interviewer grimaces and then says, "Disabled in your country's service!
Well that qualifies for extra bonus points. Okay. Looking at the regulations
you have got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours
are from 8:00 am to 4:00 PM. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 am, and plan on
starting at 10:00 am every day."

The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 PM,
why don't you want me here until 10:00 am?"
This is a government job." the interviewer says. "For the first two hours,
we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in
you coming in for that."

[jdurand]

I was flipping through the latest Zorro Tools catalog and saw this:

[Eaglezsoar]

Some of the signs are hilarious!

[jdurand]

[img]http://asset-5.soup.io/asset/10971/6610_530f_500.jpeg[/img]

[Eaglezsoar]

[img]http://asset-5.soup.io/asset/10971/6610_530f_500.jpeg[/img]

I would love to print some of these for my computer room! Super Cool!!!

[drunkenmugsy]

[img]http://asset-5.soup.io/asset/10971/6610_530f_500.jpeg[/img]

I saw this several days ago. It is my next print. I have some black and just got some brown in.

[teoman]

That appears to be "Mad Scientist" grade.

[Nylocke]

Where are the files? I *need* the files.

[JFettig]

http://www.thingiverse.com/thing:649284" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[SilverSunDog]

That was the 3rd print for my Max. Gave one to the neighbor kids and one for the shop at work. Everyone loves it!

[Eaglezsoar]

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said:
Two Prostitutes - $50.00

A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them, and told them they'd either have to remove the sign
or go to jail.
At that time, another car passed with a sign
saying: "Jesus Saves"

One of the girls asked the officer, "How come you don't stop them?"
"Well, that's a little different," the officer
said. "Their sign pertains to religion."

The following day the same police officer noticed the same two hookers driving around with a
rather large sign on their car again!
He figured he had an easy arrest until he read their new sign:



Two Fallen Angels
Seeking Peter - $50.00